"It may not be my weekend, but it's going to be my year."
Has there been a time you fisted your hands, firmed up your stance and say, "Never surrender!"? To a bully? A dream that tried to slip away? Hope or fear?
Never Surrender is my new motto as of today.
I came back from a writers conference defeated. I've NEVER felt like that after a conference. I'm usually rearing to go, conquer those pesky adverbs and find the inciting incidents. Not this time.
Let me explain.
No, let me sum up. (Name that movie)
I'm a pantser writer. That pretty much sums me up. I love to turn off the inner editor and let my fingers fly across the keyboard, telling a story I didn't know was inside me. I feel free and gypsy-ish and rogue.
Then I go to classes or talk to an editor and they ask all sorts of questions I couldn't answer:
- What's the question at the beginning of your book and is it answered at the end? (What if your memory came back and reveled you were a serial killer? That's the question at the beginning of my book. But the answer wasn't satisfying to the editor even though she did request to look at my full manuscript).
- What's the inciting incident? (Um, her old boyfriend comes back?
Or she remembers not killing a friend? Or she finds out her dad is lying
to her? Yeah! I like the last one).
- Does your character grow during the story? (Yes!)
- What genre do you write? (YA) YA what? (Psychological thriller? Possibly horror).
Oh, I could go on and on with my insecurities and I might scare you off thinking I'm puddle of nonsense. I really try not to be but sometimes my own scared-y self catches up with me.
I've been doing everything to avoid to writing! I'm feeling overwhelmed with what I think I need to do to my story.
So today, I WILL NOT YIELD! I will stand strong and I will write. I just needed a reminder that I am unique and so is my writing. I have something to offer. And it's totally okay to free write my story.
I will not surrender!
Today I will edit and write and love my story. I will not weed the garden or mop the floor or wash the car (that's what kids are for, right??). I will concentrate on the flow of words and sentences. I will stand on hope and conquer my fear of inadequacy.
I will not surrender.
What about you? What have you done where you have stood tall and didn't surrender?
Disclaimer: Don't misunderstand me! I LOVED the conference. I meet so many new people and caught up with friends and had a great time. I learned more about querying and editing that will help me. The conference was the best organized one I've been to so far. I just wasn't as inspired as I have been and I CLAIM the fault as my own.