Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Too many pretty words?

Going off this post from the other day (about not thinning seedlings/words) I thought of CHIME by Franny Billingsley. (My brain is odd, I know). Why would I compare CHIME with foliage?

By the end of the summer my garden was overrun with so many ginormous leaves I couldn't find the tomatoes or squash or pumpkins or cucumbers. Ironically, the leaves feed the plants and protect them from the sun but hid them from me.
Toward the end of the season it was easy for me to get lazy and leave the veggies. Then I remembered I didn't want wayward seeds taking over my garden again!
CHIME was amazing. I read the pages slowly, soaking in the ambiance of the story. If only I could write like Ms. Billingsley!
Only, it wasn't her story that moved me. It was the way the author put words and sentences together that moved me.

Here's a couple of examples:
"Another few minutes won't hurt, " said Father in his sermon voice, which is his favorite voice, the one he starches and irons every morning (p. 5)."
"The kitchen door groaned. It was arthritic and cranky from the flood, and it took advantage of every opportunity to complain (p. 13)."
 (Amazing, right??)

After I read the last page and put a day behind me, I realized I couldn't remember the story. The love interest was strong and funny, there was a Dad and sister and voices and a swamp. The plot eluded me.
Don't get me wrong! I loved CHIME and am not dissing on it. I would be overjoyed to have so many awesome reviews.
While I want my words to move readers I also want them to remember the story.
So once again dear readers, we need to watch our wordage. Too many beautiful words can cover up your beautiful story.

Have you read CHIME? What did you think?

PS If you want to read my review you can find it here.


Wendy Swore said...

I've never heard of it before, but I think I'll put it on my to-read list. sounds great!

Julie Daines said...

I hate people who can write like that.