I enjoyed LTUE @ BYU Thursday and Friday. I'll write more later. For now, enjoy these winners from the Bulwer-Lytton Contest for the worst opening sentences of a novel:
"The sleeping woman grunted and turned over onto her side: 'At the snoring's stopped,' mused Nigel, 'but why am I so attractive to these hogs?'"
"In these uncertain times, one must think of others' viewpoints and always remember that a crowded elevator smells different to a midget."
"What can you say about a twenty-five-year-old manatee that died?"
"The dark can be scary, thought Todd, if you're young, impressionable, intoxicated, out of gas, naked and forced to sit on vinyl seats."