Wednesday, September 7, 2016 | By: Taffy

How to title every book you ever write

I ran across this post last week and had to share it. It's hilarious! And actually might be a good idea. I tried out their ideas and came up with a few titles for my books.

Here's the link to the article:

How to title every book you ever write.

Here's the first example:

The Promising Debut Novel
Title: (Scent of your deodorant or shampoo) on (street you grew up on)
Example: Almonds on High Street

(If neither your deodorant or shampoo have a named scent, substitute the word “Mornings.”)
Now on to the second novel. Hailed as a new literary talent and tired of being asked if your first book’s main character was based on yourself, you’ll set your next book very slightly in the past (like the ’80s or ’90s, don’t get carried away) and it will center around a family secret. You have two title options, depending on whether your protagonist is male or female.


The Disappointing Sophomore Effort
Female
Title: The (your father’s profession)’s Daughter
Example: The Locksmith’s Daughter
 

Male
Title: Get out your favorite album. Rank the tracks in order of how much you like them. Take the fourth song. Print out the lyrics to that song and black out any that are well known. From the remaining lyrics, choose either the first or second half of a complete thought. Note: It must be meaningless and out of context.
Example: Funny How It Never Felt So Good


The Legacy-Building Important Literary Novel
Title: The (your first job title)s
Example: The Carhops
(If your first job title isn’t that evocative, like “event planner” or “clerk,” add the county in which you live. Example: The Event Planners of Cook County.)


Another Literary Novel to Prove the Last One Wasn’t a Fluke
Title: (your birth month)(third most populous city in the first foreign country you ever visited)
Example: December in Marseille


Your Agent Pointed Out That You Could Make Some Money Without Writing Anything New
Title: You’ll need a purse or briefcase or, if you don’t have either, open your messiest desk drawer. Close your eyes, reach in and grab whatever is in the very bottom or back. Add “The Wisdom of” before that item.
Example: The Wisdom of Eyeglasses


Here are my book titles taken from the above helps/examples:


Summerberries on California Street

Mornings on California Street

The Teacher's Daughter

And the Tables Turn

Santa's Helper

August in Taipei

The Wisdom of the Tiny Notebook

hahaha! These are great! Some sound a little racy. Maybe I'll write more romance. 

What about you? What were some of your titles?




1 comment:

Neurotic Workaholic said...

I love it! These are awesome, and what makes them funnier is that there really are titles that sound like the writers used those methods. As far as my own titles go, I remember attending a one-night writing class where a former editor of The New Yorker advised us to use a significant object or special line from the book as a title. That made it easier for me to choose my own titles.