Monday, May 16, 2011

Arrogance vs. Confidence

At the last writers conference I had the opportunity to pitch my book to an agent. I was nervous like I though I would be, only sweaty and out of breath.
(Gross, right? Learn from me and be prepared!)
I ran back to my room and grabbed my first chapter just in case I had time to read her a portion to give a feel for my "voice."
I gave her my pitch, she wrote something down and told me she liked alien stories and wanted to see more of my story.
Very cool!
I told a few friends, called my husband (who chewed me out because I didn't call him right away) and began to think of a few changes I could make to tighten the story.
The week following said conference I've gone about my writing in a totally different way.
I feel different.
I feel good.
Really good.
Somehow, my few minutes of time with the agent gave me a boost in confidence. I think I'll call it validation. Yes, validation. Which leads to self-respect and self-respect.
Then I wondered if I was being arrogant.

So, of course I had to look up the two words:

Confidence= belief in oneself and one's powers or abilities; self-confidence; self-reliance; assurance
Arrogance= offensive display of superiority or self-importance; overbearing pride.

Ah. Confidence, not arrogance. 
I think confidence sometimes comes across as arrogance. Or do we just perceive it that way? Why is that?
Be confident in your work because you are your works best advocate. 
Go forth in the world and be bold.
It's not arrogance driving us, it's confidence.

What about you? How do you feel after your last writers conference? Or how do you boost your confidence??

Here are a few quotes for you as well:

Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.  ~Eleanor Roosevelt
It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else's eyes.  ~Sally Field

It's not who you are that holds you back, it's who you think you're not.  ~Author Unknown



KarenG said...

Arrogance ewwww! Confidence yes!

Donna Hosie said...

Good for you!

Caledonia Lass said...

That last quote defines me. But confidence does rear its head now and then! ;) You definitely have confidence and not arrogance. If you were arrogant, you would be posting about how much better you are than the rest of us.
Sometimes we see confidence as arrogance, because there are times it seems that the person is just a little too smug for their own good. They may be confident and think they are confident, but that look down their nose at you just screams arrogance.

Peggy said...

That is awesome!

Cindy M Hogan said...

I've pitched different books three times at writers' conferences. This last one was the first one I felt GREaT about. I left feeling on top of the world. I'm sure it was confidence that got the agent to request my first thirty and not arrogance.

Joanne Fritz said...

Oh, I always feel wonderful after a writers' conference. A few words of encouragement can make my day and make me realize I really AM a writer.

It's good to know that's confidence and not arrogance. Thanks, Taffy!

Carolyn Arnold said...

Congrats on the agent being interested in seeing more, and for the courage to speak to them in person.

Taffy said...

You ladies are awesome! Thanks for stopping by today and good luck in all your work.

Paul Greci said...

Conferences definitely leave me with some new energy and inspiration!!

Lillian J. Banks said...

Cool post Taffy! I come across as very confident- it is a skill I have learned to pull off. I know it isn't arrogance because I am not cutting anyone else down, on the contrary, I hope my confidence and belief in them will give them confidence, or validation which is sometimes greater.
I am waaayyyy out of my comfort zone with Writing Snippets, but that is exactly what I like about it. If it gets too comfortable, I know I am not in the right place. :) Thanks, Lillian